How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Your Peers

by | Jul 17, 2021 | 9-5 Life, Entrepreneurship, Life Lessons, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Motivation, Relationships | 0 comments

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Your Friends, Your Inner Circle

Maybe you’ve got a few friends, and maybe you don’t – either way, we’re not here to judge.

Even if you don’t have a close knit group of friends, there’s a high chance that you have people you keep in touch with and track the lives of whether it’s in person or through social media. Maybe you’ve got a favorite YouTuber that you watch all of their content.

Because you’re human, you’re by definition a social creature. 

So you have people, in some sense, that you “monitor” the lives of. This can mean a million different things, I don’t know you personally.

The trap that 95% of us fall into is the age old, comparison game. I think it’s deeply rooted in the human condition, and if you don’t acknowledge it and fight it head on – none of stand a chance. It’s almost addicting, to compare our lives to others. The truth is, we are doing it all day, every day and likely don’t even realize it.

Whether you’re scrolling through Instagram or TikTok or you’re at the grocery store – your brain is subconsciously comparing yourself to your peer group.

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If you’re having a tough time in the comparison game – a daily text message will get you back on track and keep you staying strong.


Social Media Is Not Real

Social media is the most egregious and in your face example of this in modern times. The downside to a technical evolution are branches like social media.

Social Media is a highlight real. A carefully curated collection of images that never truly reflect reality.  

I think that most millenials and Gen-X’ers are completely addicted to social media. I literally only know 1 person in my friend group that doesn’t spend any amount of time on social media.

You have to understand that social media is, by definition, a comparison engine. It is a brag fest. It is one person saying “look at my life. I am doing something amazing, or I am beautiful and skinny or look at what I have that you don’t.” So when you take millions of young people, and give them this drug – it’s no wonder so many of our peers are insanely depressed and anxious. We’re doing so much damage to our own mental health collectively, and we don’t even realize it (which is the worst part).

There’s no regulation to social media, it is literally used as a drug. Most people can’t go a single day without scrolling through some social media platform.

But guess what – it is ALL fake. Now some of it is harmless and not as bad for us to consume than other posts. 

But when you take someone who is already a little insecure, and you expose them to the manufactured lives of other people – your brain is simply going to start comparing you to them.

You might be scrolling on Instagram, see a post and think:

– I can’t believe my friend is so skinny and tan, I wish I looked like that (not realizing the amount of filters put on the photo, took 15 shots and found a good angle)

– My old co-worker has a brand new car, how did they afford that? They must be killing it (your co-worker is in masssive debt and took out a loan that they can’t repay to lease the car)

– My ex girlfriend or boyfriend is looking really good and happy with their new person, I really messed that one up (maybe they are happy – or maybe their fighting daily and are portraying a lifestyle that is not real)

People are cherry picking the absolute best parts of their days, and even sheduling their days around how they can look the best online.

I know PLENTY of people that will go and buy a $10 donut, take a few pictures of them and then THROW THE DONUT in the trash. This is the type of BS that is dominant in society right now. People will wake up on a Satuday morning and go for a hike – just to post the picture of the summit online.

The amount of people that do things, just for social media, is astounding.

No one is truly as happy or cool as they make themselves look online. 

What Comparison Does To You

Comarison is the silent killer.

It’s not obvious and is hiding around every corner.

Comparison is making you slowly but surely, very unhappy.

I think that it’s actually an epidemic right now with the youth. It is nearly impossible to escape and if you don’t fully acknowledge it, then it’s already upon you.

There are no good benefits of comparison.

But guess what – we actually should be comparing ourselves to someone. Can you guess who that someone is?

This is the only way to take comparison and actually benefit from it.


How To Avoid It

You should be comparing yourself to someone. And that person is you.

I don’t think it’s realistic to completely stop all social media exposure – if you can do this, then you have more will power then most of the people in this country. I do however think that you should try to massively reduce your screen intake and go for a walk. Go for a walk, without your phone. Do something fun and amazing, and don’t tweet about it. Don’t summit a mountain and put up an Instagram story. The next time you do post something on social media – ask yourself “why” and “who you’re doing it for”. Realize that everyone else that is posting stuff online, is doing it for social validation. People who post all the time are desperately seeking the support and attention of peers. Be better than this. it will improve every area of your life.

You should be comparing yourself to who you were yesterday. This is the only way to take comparison and squeeze something positive out of it. 

By comparing yourself, to yourself – you will continually grow and develop to be the best version of yourself.

When you improve, little by little, day after day – you wil be able to notice huge differences when you look back just a couple of months.

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